Today is the day I’ve been waiting for. My favorite Sweet Meadow citizen, Bertie Byrd-Fortney and her wacky friends are back. Salt Run Publishing is in the process of re-releasing all three books in the fun reads.
BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS (Book #1 of the Bertie/Sweet Meadow series) is available now in e-book format, and you’ll be able to get printed copies in the near future.
In case you aren’t familiar with this series, it revolves around a female tow-truck driver in a little town in Georgia. She is basically normal, but she is surrounded by nuts (and I don’t mean boiled peanuts or pecans). She just happens to be unintentionally responsible for the actions of many of the people in her home town.
Bertie’s antics have become synonymous with any mishaps my friends, fans, and family, come up against. They call it “A Bertie Moment.”
Big Hair and Flying Cows was nominated as one of the top 100 humorous books for Publisher’s Weekly 2005 Quill Awards. Jon Stewart won that year, but you know what they say, “It was a pleasure to be nominated.” LOL
In this newly released edition of Big Hair, I’ve added about 25 new pages and a new character. Here’s is a little excerpt:
Sure enough, a silver Jaguar XK was, in fact, taking a squat just like Pop had said. The right rear tire, rim and all, had broken away from the suspension. The backend sat on the graveled road. I killed time getting out of the tow truck by doing as much of the paperwork as I could just by looking at the car. I copied the license plate number onto the yellow tow sheet, filled in the vehicle’s make, model and color. When I got to the owner’s info, I stopped short.
“Wonder what she’s calling herself today?” I whispered to Melinda, like I thought she might answer me. I needed a vacation. By that time, Daisy had approached my driver’s door. Reluctantly, I opened it and slid out of the truck.
She wrapped her arms around me with the strength of a security guard apprehending a grab-and-go thief. “Bertie, it is soooo good to see you again. It’s been way tooo long.”
“Good heavens, you’ve enhanced your southern accent so much, it sounds like a foreign language.” Daisy’s perfume took my breath away. It took some doing, but I finally escaped her death grip.
“My, my Bert, I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.” Daisy rubbed my back.
I stepped out of her reach and walked around the car to survey the situation and, determine my battle plan to get it hooked to the wrecker with the least amount of damage to the car or to me. “Why would I have lost my sense of humor?”
“Well, I know you took Lee breaking up with you mighty hard. Something like that could cause a woman to turn bitter.”
“Really? You think so?” Had he broken up with me, I may have taken it better, but he chose to just run off. Certain something bad had happened to him, I prayed for his safe return. I didn’t want anything bad to have happened to him.
After I learned he’d taken off with Annie, I reversed my prayers, and I prayed for hail stones to rain down on his lopsided head and for fire ants to dwell in his thong underwear, which he thought made him look sexy. I thought they made him look lopsided in other places, but evidently Annie saw something there I had missed.
“The last I heard, you have no signs of another man in your life. Surely, you realize by now that Lee won’t be coming back.” Daisy said.
“Oh, I’m fully aware of that.” Let it go, Bertie. Let it go, Bertie. I returned to my original task.
“What name do you want on this tow ticket?”
“Why Baroness Benteen, of course.”
I chuckled aloud. “Do you mean to tell me that none of those Texas ladies have explained to you that just because you married cattle baron that doesn’t make you a real baroness?”
“Absolutely not. The ones who say that are just jealous.” The top part of Daisy’s bleached-blonde hair was pulled to a topknot and held in place by a red polka-dotted bow attached by a clip. She gave the long, flowing part of her locks a flip over her left shoulder, tilted her chin upward and stared off at the horizon.
“Oh, yeah. They’re jealous. I’m sure that’s it.” I didn’t have the energy to turn that into a debate. I had work to do.
I hope you check out BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS, and enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing about dear, ol’ Bertie. If you do read it, please review it on Amazon.com or any other site where reviews are posted. Reviews are helpful and needed. They provide feedback about what the reader liked about the story. As an author, that is important to me.
Until later-Happy reading.