Monday, September 15, 2014

Big Hair and Flying Cows

Hi Everyone,

      Well, two weeks ago, Bertie arrived back on the scene and was happily greeted by old and new reader friends.  Salt Run Publishing has re-released Big Hair and Flying Cows with terrific fanfare and a brand new cover.  This Book #1 of the Sweet Meadow/Berties series has nearly 25 pages of bonus content, which introduces a new character.  I hope you have had a chance to get your e-book copy, but if not, slip over to and get your copy for $2.99.,  Print copies coming soon.
     BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS was nominated as one of the top 100 humorous books for Publisher's Weekly 2005 Quill Awards.  Jon Stewart won that year, but you know what they say, "It was a pleasure to be nominated."  LOL
     Also, be looking for the next two books in the series Barking Goats and the Redneck Mafia and Jail Bertie and the Peanut Ladies, which will be available soon.
     Now for the fun stuff—How would you like a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card and a beautiful set of rabbit bookends?  Go to my web page  Click on contest and fill in the entry form.  Be sure to give me your information in case you win, I’ll know where to send your prize. 
     While you are on my web site, notice it has been revamped.  The background reminds me of my home state of West Virginia.  Beautiful mountains and river.  Take time to look at the pages.  Some of my backlist books are available through my web site.  Contact me, and let me know which books you would like and to whom you would like them autographed.
     As always, I love hearing from readers.  I answer all emails. 
Until later, happy reading.

Dolores J. Wilson

Come join me at the Best Little Conference in Northeast Florida

Now much time left to register for our 2014 Wine & Roses conference. Do it now!
The conference is shaping up to be almost as much fun as Disney World.  Okay, I did say almost.  :-)

Monday, September 8, 2014

September 8, 2014

Hi everyone,

     Don’t pay the ransom—I’ve escaped.  I spent 3 ½ days with 3 grandsons.  It was non-stop activities to keep them out of trouble.  Excuse me . . . I mean, to entertain them.  We had water balloon fights.  We spread shaving cream on a table and they finger painted until they got bored, and then they painted each other.
     2 were due at a birthday from 1-3.  The 3rd one went with me to the Dollar General (his request).  There we bought a bunch of things to put into a treasure chest.  He and I stopped by the Dairy Queen on the way back to the house.  We did all the treasure hunt clues, hid them.  Set up the 3 bags of junk, candy, and more junk and placed them in the treasure chest at the end of the hunt.
     Yesterday, we were going to take them to Huguenot Park and let them walk on the beach and find sea shells (which I bought at the Dollar General).  Before we got out of bed, rain settled in and stayed the biggest part of the day.  When I asked the boys if they’d want to go anyway, Drew (8) said he was still tired from the day before.  Ty (10) said he didn’t want to get wet and maybe get hit by lightning and then he began to explain how that could happen in what I am sure was a perfect scientific explanation that would have made Dr. Sheldon Cooper proud.  I, on the other hand, did my best Penny impersonation as I tilted my head, scrunched up my face and asked, “Huh?”  The third grandson, Brody (6) said he was ready to go and headed for the door.  Unfortunately, I had the painful duty of explaining to him that he had been out voted 4-1.
     Actually, to be 3 kids cooped up in the house on a rainy day, we all came out of it with no battle scars.  Of course, the 10 year old announced a couple of times that he had all he could stand of his brother and cousin making so much noise.  Ty went on the covered back porch, watched it rain and talked to the cat.  I watched him from the sliding glass door for a few minutes. I think he had a pretty good idea.  When he came in, Grandma Wilson went out and talked to the cat.

Until later

Monday, September 1, 2014

Big Hair and Flying Cows Now Available


Product Details

     Today is the day I’ve been waiting for.  My favorite Sweet Meadow citizen, Bertie Byrd-Fortney and her wacky friends are back.  Salt Run Publishing is in the process of re-releasing all three books in the fun reads.
BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS (Book #1 of the Bertie/Sweet Meadow series) is available now in e-book format, and you’ll be able to get printed copies in the near future.
     In case you aren’t familiar with this series, it revolves around a female tow-truck driver in a little town in Georgia.  She is basically normal, but she is surrounded by nuts (and I don’t mean boiled peanuts or pecans).  She just happens to be unintentionally responsible for the actions of many of the people in her home town.
     Bertie’s antics have become synonymous with any mishaps my friends, fans, and family, come up against.  They call it “A Bertie Moment.”
     Big Hair and Flying Cows was nominated as one of the top 100 humorous books for Publisher’s Weekly 2005 Quill Awards.  Jon Stewart won that year, but you know what they say, “It was a pleasure to be nominated.”  LOL
     In this newly released edition of Big Hair, I’ve added about 25 new pages and a new character. Here’s is a little excerpt:
     Sure enough, a silver Jaguar XK was, in fact, taking a squat just like Pop had said. The right rear tire, rim and all, had broken away from the suspension. The backend sat on the graveled road.  I killed time getting out of the tow truck by doing as much of the paperwork as I could just by looking at the car. I copied the license plate number onto the yellow tow sheet, filled in the vehicle’s make, model and color. When I got to the owner’s info, I stopped short.
     “Wonder what she’s calling herself today?” I whispered to Melinda, like I thought she might answer me. I needed a vacation. By that time, Daisy had approached my driver’s door. Reluctantly, I opened it and slid out of the truck.
     She wrapped her arms around me with the strength of a security guard apprehending a grab-and-go thief. “Bertie, it is soooo good to see you again. It’s been way tooo long.”
     “Good heavens, you’ve enhanced your southern accent so much, it sounds like a foreign language.” Daisy’s perfume took my breath away.  It took some doing, but I finally escaped her death grip.
     “My, my Bert, I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.” Daisy rubbed my back.
     I stepped out of her reach and walked around the car to survey the situation and, determine my battle plan to get it hooked to the wrecker with the least amount of damage to the car or to me. “Why would I have lost my sense of humor?”
     “Well, I know you took Lee breaking up with you mighty hard.  Something like that could cause a woman to turn bitter.”
     “Really?  You think so?”  Had he broken up with me, I may have taken it better, but he chose to just run off.  Certain something bad had happened to him, I prayed for his safe return.  I didn’t want anything bad to have happened to him. 
     After I learned he’d taken off with Annie, I reversed my prayers, and I prayed for hail stones to rain down on his lopsided head and for fire ants to dwell in his thong underwear, which he thought made him look sexy.  I thought they made him look lopsided in other places, but evidently Annie saw something there I had missed.
     “The last I heard, you have no signs of another man in your life. Surely, you realize by now that Lee won’t be coming back.”  Daisy said.
     “Oh, I’m fully aware of that.” Let it go, Bertie. Let it go, Bertie. I returned to my original task.
     “What name do you want on this tow ticket?”
     “Why Baroness Benteen, of course.”
     I chuckled aloud. “Do you mean to tell me that none of those Texas ladies have explained to you that just because you married cattle baron that doesn’t make you a real baroness?”
     “Absolutely not. The ones who say that are just jealous.” The top part of Daisy’s bleached-blonde hair was pulled to a topknot and held in place by a red polka-dotted bow attached by a clip.   She gave the long, flowing part of her locks a flip over her left shoulder, tilted her chin upward and stared off at the horizon.
     “Oh, yeah.  They’re jealous.  I’m sure that’s it.”  I didn’t have the energy to turn that into a debate.  I had work to do. 
      I hope you check out BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS, and enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing about dear, ol’ Bertie.  If you do read it, please review it on or any other site where reviews are posted.  Reviews are helpful and needed.  They provide feedback about what the reader liked about the story.  As an author, that is important to me.

Until later-Happy reading.